Saturday, March 26, 2011

Silas Writes Children's Books

Silas Crump's future was all set: he was on his way to a championship career in the WWF (Whumpington Wrestling Federation). Week after week the Whumpington Gazette carried glowing stories detailing Silas' devastating Dragon Whip or the crowd favorite, his Stinger Splash. Silas was what you would call a minor celebrity around town. One gloomy Thursday afternoon, however, in a match with Whumpington's fiercest rivals, it became clear that there was a Serious Problem. Silas had developed a paralyzing fear of sweat.

There he was on the mat, facing Grizzly Justice. Silas clearly had the upper hand when...Grizzly broke into a sweat and and changed Silas' life forever. He could not finish the match and couldn't explain why...not to himself or to anyone else. The next week Silas applied the Riding A Bike Theory and tried to get back onto the mat but it was no use. At the very first bead of sweat on his opponent's brow Silas was done for.

Poor Silas fell into a swirling depression that had his friends and family deeply concerned. At their urging he began to see Langley Stinson, a well known counselor/therapist/mentor/confectioner (Langley believed, you see, that chocolate does indeed have healing properties). At the advice of the insightful therapist Silas began to journal. "Just start with one sentence," Langley encouraged, "and see where it goes from there." And so Silas began to write. He wrote about his fears, his disappointments, his deflated dreams. Eventually he began to create very brave characters who overcame adversity. These charming and courageous characters gradually found their way into their very own books.

The literary world embraced Silas' stories of triumph over tragedy and soon he became a Very Big Deal. Silas had been given a new dream and it was grander and more satisfying than he could ever have imagined. Who knew that the most devastating disappointment in his life would lead to the greatest joy?

Will Silas' brilliant literary career continue? Will he become the J. K. Rowling of Whumpington or will tragedy strike again? That, Dear Friend is up to you. So pick up your know what to do.

Mavis will find you a Match

Miss Mavis proudly bears the title of Whumpington Matchmaker, and has for over thirty years. Having come from a line of four generations of Matchmakers there was never any question as to what Mavis would do when she came of age. Oh, sure, there were times she entertained the idea of pursuing something else--over the road trucking or animal training--but those thoughts were fleeting and she would settle back into the comfort and predictability of her predestined occupation.

Mavis has seen the sprout of a first date grow into the bloom of Bride and Groom more times than she can count. When a young person comes to Mavis timid and twitchy she pours the whumpleberry tea and lays out the creampuffs (among other things Mavis is an exceptional hostess) and says simply "Tell me your story." Invariably, it will take the young person some time to loosen up, but Mavis has a gift for creating a welcoming and comforting atmosphere and is such a wonderful and attentive listener that before long a few halting sentences have grown to an intimate conversation among good friends.

Nothing brings Mavis as much joy as when she sees that first spark when the young man and woman she has hand picked for one another first meet and just click. Nothing, that is, except dancing at their wedding. Mavis has been the honored guest at Whumpington weddings for three decades. The invitations are always addressed to Miss Mavis and Guest, but alas, as successful as she is in finding True Love for others, Mavis has yet to meet her own perfect partner. Where does a Matchmaker go to be matched?

For now, Mavis lives a quiet life with the only man in her life, her chihuahua, Senor Butch. Her future happiness, or solitude is completely up to you. She's ready for you to write The Rest of Her Story.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Trixie Got Engaged

As head floral artist at Blooming Bliss, Whumpington's premier florist, Trixie has created dozens of bridal bouquets. Unique, gorgeous and tailored perfectly to each bride's personality, Trixie's designs have won her unequaled acclaim. Blushing brides come from counties away to have Trixie design the flowers for their Special Day.

The flowers bring Trixie such joy...but she dreads the inevitable questions regarding her own marital status:

"Trixie, Sweetheart, are you STILL single?"

"How long have you been seeing that Frankie now?"

"Well, what on earth is that boy waiting for?"

"Your poor mother must think she'll never have a grandchild..."

Truth is, Trixie had been dating Frankie for nearly three years, ever since they met waiting in line for the Ferris Wheel at the Whumpington Summer Carnival. Frankie dropped his watermelon snow cone on Trixie's new pink sneakers and practically fell all over himself apologizing. Trixie was charmed. And in love.

And here they were, staring at the third anniversary of their first date and Trixie had no ring. She was beginning to wonder if Frankie would ever pop The Question.

And then one day...

Frankie had called and asked Trixie to meet him at Lake Lilac after work. When she arrived she found Frankie dressed up in a shirt and tie and acting strangely nervous. He didn't even give her the chance to ask what was going on before he stumbled to one knee, fumbled in his pocket and declared:

"Trixie, my um, my Darling, I love you more than, um, coffee, or bubble gum, or um, well, polka music and well, everything else I love not as much as I love you. What I mean is, you're really great and fun and you smell nice all the time and I want to smell you forever. Wait. I mean...oh heck. Willyoumarryme?"

The suddenness of his proposal took Trixie so much by surprise that without thinking she turned and ran. She ran all the way to the Pop Stop and bought a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby and sat on the curb and ate the entire thing. Finishing with a fine belch and gathering her wits, Trixie returned to the lake. Poor Frankie was sitting by the shore with his head in his hands. She snuck up behind him, wrapped her arms about him and whispered "Of course. Yes. yes, of course." And they began to dream together of their future.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sally Quotes Shakespeare

Sally is perhaps the brainiest Whumpit in all of Whumptington. She is a voracious reader and unashamed dreamer and can quote the ENTIRE works of Shakespeare. You read that right--the Whole Shebang. If you happen to catch Sally in a particularly snappish mood she may burst out with something like, "Thou tirest me with thy drivel. Avant and quit my sight!" One rarely knows just what Sally is talking about and it makes for a solitary life for the sweet girl with the golden locks.

Sally has a secret wish to one day see the Old Globe Theatre in person and to experience Shakespeare as he was meant to be played. With that end in mind, Sally has been collecting and recycling FizzyPop bottles for nearly seventeen years. Will Sally realize her dream? Or is she destined to love out a lonely existence in a town that just doesn't understand or appreciate her?

THAT, Dear Friend, is completely up to you. So pick up your pen...Sally is awaiting her next adventure.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Ellie Mae and Jack...A Tragic Almost Love Story

Darling Ellie Mae is a whumpit with a problem. She Can't. Stop. Reading. Novels, magazines, the shampoo bottle in the shower...Ellie sees the written word and absolutely cannot help herself. Ellie Mae remembers with crystal clarity The Day she learned to read. At the age of three and a half, having grown impatient with always waiting for an adult to read to her Ellie taught herself to read. It was a Tuesday and her mother had promised "Just a few more minutes, Ellie Mae" through the laundry folding and the baby brother diaper changing and the macaroni and cheese preparing. She finally just picked up Go Dog Go and Began. To. read.



"Do you like my hat?"

"I do not."



And Ellie Mae would never be the same. Some of Ellie's best friends are books. Come to think of it, most of her friends are books. And she likes that just fine.

Poor, sweet Jack first fell in love with Ellie when she shut out all the fourth graders in three surrounding counties in the Spelling Bee regional finals.


So confident,

No hesitation.

Eyes locked on the judges.

And Jack never had a chance.

All these years of unrequited love and still he Hopes.
Hopes with a capital H.
So firmly does Jack believe in a future with the Girl of His Dreams that he has made the
(misguided and crazy, according to his family)
decision to take the leap and buy a Home.
The darling cottage sits alone and empty at the end of Primrose Place as Jack
Cannot bring himself to move in without his Lady Love.

And so he waits, passing the time with his job at the FizzyPop soda company
And playing Mah Jong online, confident that the day will come when Ellie Mae will
1) Put down her book,
2) Come to her senses and
3) Notice this longsuffering man with the unwavering devotion.

Will Jack's tenacity and adoration prove fruitful?
Will Ellie ever put down the novel long enough to notice the cute young man with the shining eyes?
That's completely and utterly up to you...
So pick up your pen and begin
The Rest of the Story...